My trusty old laptop is in the shop; a victim of my clumsy attempts to make her run better. A pox upon that British guy on Youtube and his quick fix video that resulted in me firing some longtime guardians he claimed were unnecessary and slowing me down. In following his instructions, I apparently left myself open to strangers who were only too happy to exploit my computer ignorance and vulnerability..leading me down dangerous paths where only the experienced should dare to venture.
“Old Faithful” I hope the injuries I caused are not mortal.
The HP laptop was a parting gift from Keloland at my retirement 7 years ago and has served me well for both writing Lund at Large and recording Voice of Keloland assignments when we are out of town. I have left it in the capable hands of the Keloland I.T. guy in hopes it can be salvaged at least enough for me to retrieve stuff from my hard drive and maybe apologize for allowing her to be violated because of my selfish choice to seek speed over safety.
The laptop incident has not been the only sobering reminder of how little I really know about communication technology.
For the last several months it was clear that a trip to the Verizon store would be necessary. After three years, the lid on my flip phone had cracked to the point it wouldn’t stay open when answering or during a call which led to numerous unintentionally rude hang-ups on people when my hand would accidentally let go of the top causing the lid to slam shut. It was time for Linda and my free upgrades. Now, we’d been thinking about getting smart phones like most everyone else on the planet but really couldn’t justify the cost. (Double what we’re paying now) Plus, we don’t text..nor care to. And, (the main reason really) I’m afraid we might be too dumb to learn how to operate a smart phone. So, it was pretty much settled, we’ll get our new flippers and be out the door.
Two hours later, however, we were exiting the building with puzzled looks on our faces carrying a bag containing two Droid RAZR smart phones wondering aloud “what in the hell did we just do?”
I had been wooed into submission by the clever young salesman I guess.
It’s not the first time people have tried to intimidate me technologically. Newspapers had been using computers for quite a while but by the mid 1980’s everybody in TV news realized it was only a matter of time before they’d be invading our territory too. We got to see it first hand in 1987, when Dan Rather took the CBS Evening News on the road for a week of broadcasts on the farm crisis from our Keloland studios in Sioux Falls. Rather was only here a couple days before dashing back to New York but, to our good fortune, Charles Kuralt was brought in to finish out the week…which is a whole other story. The point is, we got to see, first hand, how reporters and producers utilized computers and how it would forever change the format and speed in which news is assembled and presented.
It still took a couple years before the inevitable happened; ours was to be the first local TV newsroom to bid the old typewriters adieu and become totally computerized. Of course, all of our younger colleagues were overtly and covertly convinced that Hemmingsen and I were too stuck in our ways to ever adapt to the new system which only made me more determined to outshine all of ‘em. I paid close attention during our ten day orientation classes and was as ready as any of them when we hit the air live after a few test runs. Hemmingsen did too..although he refused to give up his old Olympia typewriter, keeping it under his desk for several months in case of emergency. We actually did have a couple computer malfunctions in those early days in which the typewriters were dragged out of storage and brought brought back into temporary service. I don’t think that’s even an option today and I don’t know anyone who would have the finger strength to operate a manual typewriter or change a ribbon.
So now, I sit here and stare at this ..or one just like it.
I wonder if we’ll ever be friends.
It’s been over two weeks since we got our RAZR’s..well past the point of going back on our commitment and even though I’m learning a little bit more about them every day, the process is slow and, considering the lapse in judgment that sent my laptop to the hospital, I’ve tried to be extra careful about what I touch. The trouble is, many errors are unavoidable because my fingers are too fat or arthritic or something. Even though I widen the keyboard to maximum, a simple request for my email address comes out something like dlu@#dorkmufl . I have sort of figured out how to avoid typing by using the voice commands for both Google and the phone but sometimes I get a rather ass-chewing electronic reply like “Are you still there?” or “Next time try..blah blah..” In frustration, I have..and I’m not proud of it..occasionally..talked back to my Droid using expletives that would make them think twice about asking me to narrate the Christmas Cantata at church ever again.
Well, I see a little green light flashing on my phone. There was a time when that meant a change in weather foreseen. Now I think it means I’ve got a message of some sort. Guess I’ll turn her on and start pushing some of those tiny little icons with my Incredible Hulk hands and see what happens.
Wish me luck.
11 Responses
Too funny, Doug! I still have my flip phone and I fear the day it will not work and I have to go the route of the smart phone. I am pretty sure I am not smart enough to handle it. WHY does everything have to be so hard for us old people??? Ugh! But then if my 8 and 5 year old grandkids can do it, maybe there is hope for me? Who knows, maybe they will be my teachers!
Maybe we’re just too smart for the Smart phones! Maybe the people that programmed the damned things are really dumb and should have called us for a better, much easier way to make them work. Every one of the devices and programs that are generated by these so called techies seem to involve an abundance of steps that any “smart’ person could have cut down to one or two. The steps should also make sense. Now, I don’t know how to do it…but, I sure could tell them that what they’re suggesting usually doesn’t make sense to anyone with even a basic sense of direction. The inmates are running the asylum!
I would recommend getting yourself a stylus to help you with the keyboard…It’s like a pencil with a rubber end that helps when fingers are too big for the keyboard…My son was having the same problem with his smart phone and solved it by buying a 2.00 stylus pen…I still havent figured out all the functions on my Galazy 3 and now it’s time for an upgrade which I will be passing on for now…I have cursed my phone with language a sailor would blush at….Thankfully my husband is a geezer geek and can usually help me out of the messes I find myself in both with my phone and my computer…Best of luck to you Doug!!
Connie’s suggestion of a stylus is a great one. I have a Kindle Fire HD, and because I, too, suffer from Fat Finger Syndrome, I bought one, and it’s worked wonders. I think you’ll like it, Doug.
I am almost 69 and have a smart phone. I LOVE- LOVE- LOVE it! I can look up whatever I need where ever we are. I can take pictures and share them on email or facebook. If we want to go to a movie I just check out the times on my phone! I can’t talk my husband into one though. He has the flip phone. But that doesn’t stop him from asking me to check out the grain markets on my phone all of the time. This is the first time for me to write on your blog. I enjoy it very much. Thanks for sharing. And…. I can check out the blog on my PHONE!!!
Doug, On my work phone- I don’t have a personal phone yet?- When it rings and I have to punch in numbers or letters I reach in my pocket- pull out my ball point pen and use that rather than my fat fingers which don’t seem fat to me- but to the phone they are! Even using the pen I still double up on letters or numbers & that just drives me nuts!! Stu Surma
This made me laugh out loud. I like my iPhone, but don’t use half the functions on it. Zoey, the 12 year old, helps us when we get stuck! I’m sure she’d be happy to help her grandparents too. Love you both….and again, happy birthday, Dad!
Doug:
In cleaning out the storage room, we came across an item with your name on from the 1980’s It is interesting place of history. If you want to see, sent me an E-Mail.
All this new technology does not due justice to this item.
Actually, I pushed to get us into newsroom computers. I was not happy with what we wound up with, later learning that with the station being sold and all we just skipped getting updates. I still think it was a cumbersome clunker. As I recall, the next system was much more user friendly…for geezers nudging retirement.
My son’s say,s turn the phone sideway’s and the keyboard will get bigger. And thank’s for the laughs.
I don’t have a RAZR, but also just recently purchased my first smartphone. One of the best features I discovered is the little microphone button beside the space bar. This will convert your talk to text so you don’t have to fight with those nasty little buttons.