Bulletin: Hog farmers in Minnehaha County were shocked to discover that their pigs had suddenly sprouted wings and taken flight.
Bulletin: Word from the nether region is that the fires of damnation have been extinguished and Hades is now enveloped in ice.
Bulletin: The Sioux Falls City Council has UNANIMOUSLY agreed on something.
Okay, now that last one is just too hard to believe. Kermit Staggers in harmony with Vernon Brown? Come on. What issue could possibly bring such unison? The unified city council bretheran and sisteran.
How about giving their blessing to a proposal allowing stores to sell wine on Sunday?
But, hey, why stop there? Councilor Costello said we might as well let ‘em sell the “hard stuff” on the Sabbath too. So, with apparently no objection or much discussion..all eight councilors said “sure”…and just like that, as of November 16th, the doors at Sid’s can be unlocked and the ropes around the booze section at Shop ‘N Cart may be taken down.
What a life saver this is going to be. Alcoholics will no longer have to stock up on Saturday night in order to get them through the weekend. We can now pick up a jug of vodka on our way home from church. No need for panic anymore when the wine runs out on Easter.
I suppose the ordinance banning Sunday booze sales was pretty hypocritical anyway since retail beer sales have been allowed for ages..and bars that serve food may also serve up cocktails. In fact, any moral justification for keeping the Sabbath Day holy disappeared years ago when the malls came in and got people into the habit of Sunday shopping..and dining..and drinking.
(In my best old man voice) “That’s right sonny, in my day everything closed up tight on Sundays and if we ever saw a farmer working his fields when he should be in church, well, we figured him for a Seven Day Adventist or one of them there atheists..either way, they were headin’ to Hell fer sure.”
The truth is, if anyone..including me..needs to be fitted for asbestos underwear because we ignore the fourth commandment, (keeping the Sabbath Holy) it’s going to be mighty crowded down there.
About the only hope we have, as Christians, is in the book of Matthew where Jesus was being questioned by religious experts of the day.
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
I can do that.
Now, if He will just look the other way on Sundays when I pick up a bottle of merlot at Lewis, shop for groceries at Sunshine, have dinner and drinks at the Alpine and accidently take His name in vain (#3) while watching the Vikings game.
